


Only Human

by kaguneko (alittlecoco)



Series: Aisle 10 'Verse [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Body Worship, Depression, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, hurt comfort and aftercare, self-inflicted orgasm denial, tame edging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-29 02:45:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12072963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlecoco/pseuds/kaguneko
Summary: An extra fromAisle 10that I wrote & published ages ago. I'd been meaning to put it here on it's own for a while, in case anyone wanted an easy 6k of pwp. You've possibly already read this. Apologies. It's chapter 5 of that work. Essentially Levi teaches martial arts and Erwin is a high school history teacher and they are very married.Levi has a depressive episode. Erwin takes good care of him.





	Only Human

**Author's Note:**

> I'm working on finishing up that verse right now and felt like celebrating. Also I'm really in the mood for comfort and aftercare... hmm...

 

Most of the time when Levi looked pissed, he wasn’t. It was a potent combination of being naturally reserved, having a dry sense of humor that came flying in from left field, and a harsh, barking tone that he used to guard himself. He also apparently had what Hanji said the kids called, “a resting bitch-face.” It took Erwin weeks to work this out, but once he did, he was content to let Levi glower his way through life. It was endearing and sort of noble; there was something elegant about Levi’s prickly demeanor and snooty expressions. Granted, he only seemed elegant until he opened his mouth, but Erwin liked that, too.

  
He found it immensely satisfying to watch Levi quietly melt as he grew comfortable with him, snapping less and eventually pushing his face into Erwin’s touch like a stray cat, letting himself be tugged about in Erwin’s playful grip like a doll with a miserable, long-suffering little face. Until one day, Erwin realized with a jolt, Levi was giving it back as good as he got.

  
Sometimes, though, and it wasn’t terribly often anymore, Levi was in a lot more pain than his surly expression belied. The keenness of his grey eyes dulled and his whole expression turned inwards, shoulders curling to make him actually look his tiny height. He was terse, slinking somewhere he wouldn't have to bear the ceaseless chatter of life.

  
The first time it happened, Erwin was lost, hands too large and clumsy. He found Levi sitting in the backyard, face resting on bent knees. It had started to rain, plastering his hair to his cheeks, his shirt to his back, and his skin mottled a ghastly grey-blue. Erwin knelt in the grass at his feet, soaking his knees, heart thumping. His stomach ached with worry. Levi kept his eyes fixed on Erwin’s collarbones while Erwin spoke, refusing to look up.

  
“Levi,” Erwin had begged. “Tell me how to help you. I don’t give a fuck what it is. I’ll do anything.”

  
Levi’s shoulders shivered and rain dripped off his nose. He finally looked up and shrugged a shoulder and whispered simply, “Help.”

 

It wasn’t really an answer, but his eyes were wide and miserable and Erwin had scooped him up, bundling his shaking frame into the bathroom. He stripped Levi and washed his body in warm bathwater so gently he thought his own heart would break. Levi melted, leaning into Erwin’s hands and sighing until Erwin crawled into the tub behind him, curling protectively around his body. He kissed and licked the man until his skin flushed pink. Levi didn’t say much, just whined softly and let Erwin do whatever he pleased, pliant in a way he usually wasn’t.

  
“Sometimes,” Levi said slowly, after Erwin had eaten him out on top of their comforter with long licks and tender nuzzles. The words seemed to cost him a massive effort. “Sometimes I need that.”

  
“Okay.” Erwin said. He could handle that.

 

After the incident, whenever Levi’s thoughts swirled too thick and dark, he’d look at Erwin with his bleak gaze and say, sometimes so quietly Erwin couldn’t hear him, “Help.” The pride it must’ve cost Levi each time he asked for Erwin to take control left Erwin feeling like the ground was falling away beneath his feet.

  
It got easier over time, though, and sometimes Levi let Erwin play his body with tender fingers because they both craved it; Levi to be boneless and unguarded as he rarely was, and Erwin wanting to purr for being able to give Levi exactly what he needed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
The thunderstorm they were due days ago finally crackled through the atmosphere while Levi was teaching an afternoon class. The pressure in the air made his back ache and dull pain throb through his left leg. That it still hurt after so many years fucked him off to no end. He gritted his teeth and exhaled heavily, shoving back his irritation.

  
Unfortunately, it was a class of inexperienced newcomers and during a demonstration one of the students nailed him across the healed fracture in his femur with a sharp kick. In a moment, Levi was launched back over a decade, pinned in the car surrounded by smoke and nauseating pain and his dead friends.

  
The rest of the afternoon passed in breaths, each one difficult to take. Levi could hear himself barking orders and correcting poses, but his head was a fog of hazy grief and self-loathing at the fact that his issues still reared their fuck-ugly heads when he least expected it; he _should’ve_ expected it. His leg fucking ached. Goddammit, he felt old.

  
By the time he pushed through the front door of their house, he was counting those breaths. Rushing inhale, echoing too loud in his own ears, three heartbeats, rough exhale. _One, two, three_. Breath. _One, two, three_. Breath.

  
Erwin lounged on the couch frowning at a book. His sweats fell low on his hips, shirt riding up, and he wore his thick reading glasses. Levi registered vaguely that the man pulled off the “I haven’t left the house or showered in days” look like a fucking champ.

  
Erwin glanced up, tugging off his glasses and shoving a thumb and forefinger into the corners of his eyes before he tilted his head at Levi. “Hey,” he said, voice slow and warm. He was using that tone he slipped into when Levi looked rough, the one Levi had heard him use with a skittish puppy once. Levi wondered if he knew he did it.

  
Levi didn’t respond; he was too tired. He just stood in the center of the living room with damp hair and a leg that ached as much as his chest.

  
Understanding flickered through Erwin’s gaze and he smiled so gently Levi wanted to snarl. He looked down at Erwin’s bare feet instead.

  
“Levi,” Erwin said, somehow always sounding like saying Levi’s name was the most delightful experience in his goddamn life. It embarrassed Levi as much as it unraveled the knot in his throat.

  
The blond stood and crossed the room. Levi watched his feet approach, tendons and muscles bunching, contracting and stretching, toes splaying. He counted his breaths. It only took one and Erwin was in front of him, toes an inch from Levi’s sock-clad feet.

  
“Let me take care of you,” Erwin said, bending to kiss the crown of his head.

 

Levi nodded, barely, still looking down.

 

“Shower,” Erwin murmured into his hair. “I got a new body wash. You’ll like it.” His hand dipped to rest against the small of Levi’s back, pressing him forward, one step and then a another, until they were in the bathroom. Their dance got easier every time, but Levi instinctually clung onto his self-control until Erwin gently pried it from his grasp. Maybe that was part of it.

  
There were sirens wailing in his head and they wouldn’t shut the fuck up.

  
Levi finally looked up at Erwin as the blond closed the door and paused a few feet from him. The ache in his chest was sharper for the soft way Erwin regarded him. Erwin’s brow creased at his expression.

  
“Levi,” he said again, voice so very warm that Levi wanted to lay down inside of it and rest. He wished the swirling grey haze would recede so he could enjoy the way Erwin’s sweatpants hung so low on his hips that the thick golden hair curling about his cock bloomed out the top of waistband. He sighed, huffing a massive breath through his nostrils, and then Erwin was cradling his jaw, pressing warm lips across his brow and down his nose. The space between his eyes ached. Levi closed his eyes and let his head rest heavy against Erwin’s palm.

  
Erwin kissed his way across his hairline. “I know it hurts,” he murmured, lips dragging against Levi’s skin. “I’m sorry that it hurts, Levi.”

  
He peeled off Levi’s clothes, slow like he enjoyed the process, stopping to lick at the hollow at the base of his neck and then again at the thin skin in the crease where Levi's hips turned into his thighs. Levi’s hands stayed limp at his sides. Erwin didn’t seem to mind.

  
The second time they’d done this, the first time Levi had consciously asked for it, Erwin had murmured as he smoothed broad hands up his sides, “ _Details Levi. Focus on all the little details until your brain doesn’t have any more room for the ugliness and all you can see is what’s happening right in front of you. The present is a hell of a lot better than the past. I promise_.”

  
Levi shivered. Pick a detail. He stared down at the man kneeling at his feet, trying to decipher Erwin’s expression. _Intense_ , he decided. Erwin closed his eyes as he kissed the insides of Levi’s thighs, lashes brushing his cheekbones. His thick eyebrows pulled together in concentration and his nose wrinkled when he pulled his lips back to nip at the swells of flesh, tongue flickering out to slide against Levi’s skin. His rubbed a broad palm in circles against Levi’s old injury. Levi’s breath hitched.

  
He sighed. The gust of air felt good in his throat. “Shower, Erwin,” Levi prompted, gooseflesh erupting down his arms. Erwin smiled against his thigh and looked up, nuzzling his cock where it was slowly, so slowly, stiffening between his legs.

  
“Alright,” Erwin said. But he stopped to fumble in the medicine cabinet for painkillers first.

  
Levi swallowed them dry.

 

 

Levi clung to the present while Erwin slid his soap-slick hands down his back, over the curve of his ass, and along the backs of his thighs. _Peppermint_ , he thought. Erwin had gotten peppermint-scented body wash, fresh and cooling and nothing like charred carseats. Levi took a huge gulp of air. He could breathe easier.

  
“Good,” Erwin murmured from behind him, hands retracing their path, digging into tight muscles, dipping into the creases in his body, then coming up again so his thumbs rubbed slow circles at the back of Levi’s neck. “You’re doing _so_ well, Levi. Look at you. Jesus.”

  
Erwin pulled him back against his chest when he’d rinsed the body wash away, purring hums vibrating against Levi’s back as he slid his hands down over Levi’s chest. Levi let his head roll back to rest against his broad chest. Erwin’s cock was thickening against him, the weight of it delicious.

  
There was peppermint in his nose and Erwin’s rich purr in his ears. The sirens faded into background noise.

  
Erwin dipped his head to lap at Levi’s neck, tongue flicking over water droplets and clean skin. “Look at you,” he said again when Levi let his head loll to give Erwin better access. “Fuck, I can’t believe you let me touch you like this, so open for me.” His hands rubbed down Levi’s chest and stomach over and over, pausing to rub thumbs over his nipples. “So good, Levi. You’re so beautiful.”

  
Levi heard himself moan, embarrassingly breathy and high, but that was one of the rules: he didn’t have to worry about mewling like a pitiful kitten when he handed himself over to Erwin. He could beg, or cry, or scream out his pain and pleasure and Erwin wouldn’t bat a lash.

  
And god, it felt good to moan. The sound slid up his throat, clearing out the painful tightness. He tried another small mewl.

  
“There it is,” Erwin murmured, deep tones warm with approval. He licked Levi’s throat again, hands slipping to rub at the crease between his hips, washing the skin between Levi’s balls and his thighs. “There’s your voice,” he purred. “I missed it.”

  
The feeling of Erwin’s thick fingers fitting into the sensitive space between his thighs made him splay his legs and arch back, eyes sliding shut. He moaned again. Because it felt good. Because Erwin liked it. He wanted Erwin to tell him he was good again.

  
Erwin responded with a rough groan of his own, making Levi’s cock twitch. “Let it out. So _good_ , Levi.”

  
_There_. That’s what Levi wanted. He tossed his head and mewled.

  
“Perfect,” Erwin encouraged, rolling his hips. He pressed his fingers under Levi’s chin, tilting his head up. Levi opened his eyes, glad the spray of the shower was blocked by Erwin’s shoulders. Erwin’s eyes were dark and pleased and crinkled at the corners with painfully tender affection. Levi felt his lips part and a tiny moan slipped out at Erwin’s expression. The blond shuddered against his back.

  
“ _God_ , Levi.”

  
Levi rolled his hips back into Erwin, watching his lips go slack. Levi's nose was filled with peppermint, his ears echoed with purring praise, and he couldn’t look away from the way Erwin gazed down at him.

  
“Erwin,” he said, throat tightening again. “Thank you.”

  
Erwin’s brows pulled together and he swallowed, closing his eyes and ducking to press his face to Levi’s temple. “Of course,” he said, voice thick.

  
His heart beat heavy against Levi’s back, but Levi didn’t try to count the steady thumps. He didn’t want to count them because every thump was another moment gone and he didn’t want time to pass when he was with Erwin. He wanted to guard Erwin’s heart with snarling teeth and claws.

  
“You’re drifting again,” Erwin said.

  
Levi twisted in his arms and pressed his head to Erwin’s heart, listening to the throb under thick, warm muscles, slick with water. The shower was white noise in the background. Levi took a breath, stomach muscles expanding and pressing into Erwin before they contracted. He wrapped his arms around Erwin’s sturdy waist. Erwin hummed and slid an arm around Levi, his other hand cradling Levi’s head to his chest.

  
“Does this help?” he asked, taking a deep breath that moved Levi’s entire body.

  
“Sometimes,” Levi said and Erwin held him for several long moments, his cock still hopeful against Levi’s belly, taking deep, steady breaths and humming out his exhales until the water began to cool.

  
“Erwin,” Levi said. He stepped back and looked at Erwin with his long limbs, open stance, and beautiful eyes. He tilted his head and smiled faintly, watching Erwin’s eyes widen when he did so. He lifted a brow. “Help?”

 

 

  
Levi’s back arched and he dug his heels into the bed with a raw sob as Erwin licked a long strip up the underside of his cock and rubbed the pads of two thick fingers against his insides.

  
“God, Levi,” Erwin groaned, shifting his hips against the bed. “More. Let me hear more.”

  
“ _Erwin_ ,” Levi heard himself sob. His cock dribbled against his stomach while Erwin rubbed steady circles on his prostate. “It’s so _much_. Holy shit.” His breath caught, hitched, and he whined.

  
Erwin let up on the pressure on his prostate, dipping to lick at his stomach, fingers pushing in and curling and pulling out with a heavy drag until Levi’s skin was clean. Then Erwin was searching and rubbing, murmuring placations until he found Levi’s prostate again and resumed his slow, firm circles. He watched Levi closely. Levi was certain he was drooling and that tears rolled down the side of his face.

  
“Ah, fuck,” he groaned, back curving into another arch when Erwin slid down to lick at the stretched-out ring of muscle spread wide around his fingers. He pressed in a third slick finger, making Levi suck in a breath at the pressure. The heat of his tongue was a sharp relief against Levi's sore, twitching rim.

 

“Yeah,” Levi groaned, voice dipping low in his chest. His hands clawed at the covers. “Fuck, that’s good.” His cock ached for friction, but he liked that and Erwin knew it.

  
_Details_. The way Erwin’s blond hair looked in contrast to his dark curls. How suddenly that one tiny part of his body became his entirety when Erwin push into it.  

  
Erwin hummed and lapped a messy trail from his hole to his balls, pausing to mouth at one with a delicacy at odds with the rough push of his fingers. Levi panted and locked eyes with him; the blue of them was painful and the pressure inside his body was unrelenting, the circles against his prostate making him want to scream or piss or fist his own cock until he came.

  
“Do you want to come like this, Levi?” The sound of Erwin’s voice, so deep and rough it was a growl, made Levi jerk his hips and whimper. Erwin’s eyes were earnest, though, despite the heave of his chest. He’d happily bring Levi off like this, with presses and drags of the pads of his fingers.

  
Levi shook his head, staring down at Erwin where he lay between his legs. “No.” He shuddered when Erwin grinned, wolfish and pleased, fingers still deep inside Levi’s body. “No.”

  
Erwin gave a full body shiver and bent to lick and press at Levi’s ass until he whined at each blunt push and was loose enough that Erwin could slip his tongue in with his fingers. He slurred out wet praises against Levi’s twitching skin between each pass of his tongue.

  
“No condom,” Levi gasped, groaning and clenching his stomach muscles when Erwin finally eased his fingers out and wiped his mouth on his forearm. Levi hated the loss every damn time. He squeezed his legs together, bearing his ass down against the bed with a harsh curve to his spine.

  
“Hey. Easy, Levi,” Erwin murmured, rubbing a hand across Levi’s tense stomach muscles while he slicked himself with lube. “Hang on. One sec.” He took hold of Levi’s hips and bent to press kisses to his face. Levi blindly nuzzled his face against Erwin’s. “Almost there. You’re doing so well.” Erwin slid a hand to line himself up, and then there was the blunt head of his cock slipping against Levi’s entrance.

  
“Wait!” Levi gasped. Erwin froze and looked down with a frown. “Go slow,” Levi said. “Go slow.”

  
“Are you sore?” Erwin asked, still pressed against him, eyes large with concern. “Is your leg still hurting?” Levi felt himself flutter and clench against Erwin’s head and it made him want to squirm and groan.

  
“No. I just want it slow.” He meant that he didn’t want it to stop. He felt strange, panicky. Details, moments, time passing. He wanted time to slow the fuck down. He wanted to hold Erwin inside of himself and feel his own heart beating around Erwin’s body. But he wouldn’t say that out loud, so he widened his eyes and hoped Erwin got it.

  
Erwin smiled that damned slow smile that made Levi’s inside burn and melt like he was a sappy little shit. “Okay.” He brought his palm to the side of Levi’s face and Levi shoved his face into the warm skin as Erwin pressed into him.

  
Erwin was vocal during sex. God, he was always so vocal. It made Levi drip.

  
A long, low groan rumbled out of his chest the entirety of the slow press of his cock into Levi’s body. Levi was sure he was whining too, but all he could pay attention to was the way his body was stretching around Erwin and the way Erwin’s full lips fell slack and he tossed his head back unselfconsciously with a guttural, breaking moan.

  
“ _Levi_ ,” he panted, eyes snapping open to look down at Levi when his hips finally pressed against Levi’s ass. Levi shivered and gazed back hazily, body clenching around Erwin, the fullness making it hard to breathe.

  
“Is this good?” Erwin asked. “I am being good for you?” He dipped to nuzzle Levi’s forehead, hips rolling slightly, grinding into Levi’s body. The weight of his stomach pressed down against Levi’s cock and Levi reflexively shoved up against the friction with a sigh. He didn’t know where his voice had gone.

  
“Levi,” Erwin groaned again, brushing his lips to the top of Levi’s head, hips flexing in tiny circles as he said in a rush, “I’m going to move. I’ll go slow. I promise I’ll go so slow, love. But I have to move, you’re so tight. You’re so good, Levi.”

  
_There_. There it was. “Yeah,” Levi panted, rolling his hips back against Erwin’s, squeezing his eyes shut. “Move.” _Tell me I’m good, Erwin. Tell me how good I am for you_.

  
Erwin slid out of his body with another deep, unabashed groan and then they were rolling to meet each other in long slow pushes and pulls that left Levi whining while Erwin kissed and licked at the unintentional tears on his face.

  
“Levi,” he growled between flicks of his tongue and rolling thrusts. “You’re amazing.” His voice hitched when Levi clenched in response to the praise. “I can feel that,” he breathed. He angled his hips so that his cock pressed upwards on his next thrust, making Levi's back bow.

  
“Fuck,” Levi gritted. His cock dripped, aching and neglected. He squirmed. He didn’t want to touch himself yet.

  
“Again?” Erwin said. His eyes were dark and his lips were wet and full. “Let me please you, Levi.”

  
“You _are_ , you fuck,” Levi managed, though it was more punched-out breath than snip as Erwin pulled out and pressed back in, dragging across his prostate again. He curled forward, hitching his legs high on Erwin’s hips, and pressed his head to Erwin’s chest, listening to the rapid thump of his heart. Erwin curled over him and held him close, rocking slowly into his body.

  
“I want to hear you, Levi. I miss your voice.”

  
“I’m right here,” Levi hitched out. Fuck, he was full.

  
“I want more,” Erwin told him. His hands cradled Levi’s head and lower back. He was everywhere. Inside Levi, curling around him, voice purring vibrations through Levi’s bones. He smelled like musky sweat and the peppermint body wash they’d showered with and his heartbeat thumped strong against Levi’s ear. Levi wanted to crawl inside that sound as much as he did Erwin’s voice.

  
Erwin reached down and rubbed his thumb across the slick reddened head of Levi’s cock, making him hiss. “Do you want to come, Levi?” he asked, a bit ragged. “I’m—you’re, you keep clenching and I’m. Close. I’m close, fuck.” His hips stuttered before resuming their slow thrusts.

  
“No!” Levi growled and put his hand on Erwin’s wrist to stop him from pumping his cock. “Not yet.  I want more, too.” He didn’t want it to end. He felt mildly hysterical.

  
Erwin’s breath caught and he paused, freezing inside of Levi.

  
“Fuck,” Levi groaned, squirming his hips against Erwin. His insides throbbed.

  
“ _Ah_ , wait. Levi wait. Fuck.” Erwin reared back and looked down. His eyes were dark with pupil. “ _Wait_ ," he panted. “I’m gonna come. Hang on.” His breaths were wheezing whistles.

  
Levi’s lips parted and his cock drooled while he watched Erwin pant and wrestle for control. He leaned over Levi, weight resting on his hands, twitching inside Levi’s body with his eyes squeezed shut. A few heaving growls climbed out of his throat. Levi reached up and ran a hand along his face. Erwin cracked an eye and offered Levi a shaky grin, turning to kiss his palm.

  
“I have an idea,” he said.

 

 

Levi shook, breathless and whimpering brokenly against Erwin’s shoulders a little while later.

  
Erwin had shifted them, sitting up and pressing Levi upright against the headboard so that he straddled Erwin’s lap with either his chest or the pillows against the headboard to lean against. Erwin pressed into him again and again until they were both at the edge before grasping the base of Levi’s cock and letting him weep against his shoulder while he rubbed his back and they came back down. Then he slicked himself with more lube and began again with rumbling, continuous moans, tossing his head. Levi wanted to stay suspended in this moment, full of Erwin, the feel of his heart pressed to his chest.

  
“Er-win. Er… _Erwin_ ,” Levi hitched, sobbing between syllables of his name. He held the base of his own cock desperately with both hands, head resting drunkenly against Erwin’s neck while Erwin pressed him to the headboard and snapped his hips. He thought he might be crying, but he couldn’t actually open his eyes to find out.

  
“Levi,” Erwin growled back, hoarse, “love.” His forehead rested on the headboard and his arms shook where they were wrapped under Levi’s thighs to hold him up. His chest heaved and shivered. He slowed his hips.

  
Levi whined.

  
“Are you ready to come?” he rasped. His voice was like gravel. It sounded like he was begging.

  
Levi whimpered and nodded reluctantly. Erwin shifted him to hold the back of his head with a hand, fingers sliding up through his hair.

  
“It’s okay, Levi,” he said, tilting his face so that his cheek rested alongside Levi’s. His other hand splayed across the small of Levi’s back, holding him close. Erwin was pressed so deeply inside Levi this way, with his whole weight resting in Erwin’s lap, that his stomach felt uncomfortable. Levi released his own cock with a rush of blood to the tip that nearly made him come, and pressed his palm to his abdomen, his other hand snaking up to curling in Erwin’s hair. He panted.

  
“You’re okay, Levi,” Erwin said again, pulling back to look at him. “Everything’s alright.”

  
Levi smiled faintly when he finally looked at Erwin. These details were his favorites. Erwin’s cheeks were splotchy red, hair wild and sweaty, his already full lips bitten until they swelled. His eyes were bloodshot like he’d been sobbing when Levi had.

  
“You look good,” Levi rasped, reaching to press at his lower lip. It was slick and plush.

  
“You’re a fucking maniac,” Erwin huffed against his finger, hips rolling slightly.

  
Levi nodded. His hand still pressed against his stomach and his rim throbbed around Erwin’s cock with every beat to his heart. He took a shuddering breath— _in, one, two, three, out_. He was alright. “Are you going to let me come, finally?” he asked, lips twitching.

  
Erwin barked a surprised laugh, making his cock jump and Levi whimper. He shoved his lips against Levi’s, licking and nipping, rough.

  
“I love you, you crazy fucking bastard,” he growled at Levi, still laughing breathlessly, and reached to grab his hips, hoisting him and falling back. Levi yelped. He dragged Levi on top of him and then rolling again to press Levi flat on his back against the mattress. His weight was so heavy.

  
“I’m not going to last,” he snarled, grabbing Levi’s wrists in one hand and pinning them above his head, snaking his other hand down to wrap around Levi’s furiously red erection.

  
Levi let out a whimper of relief when Erwin’s hand wrapped around him. “Ah- _hah_ , fuck. _Erwin_.”  Too fast.

  
“You’re not gonna last either.” Erwin swiped his thumb across Levi’s slit and gave a rough thrust of his hips. “C’mon,” he growled, nosing hard at Levi’s jaw and biting the damp skin of his neck. Pleasure was building too quickly in Levi’s belly and cock with each shove of Erwin’s hips and firm pump of his fist.

  
“Don’t wanna stop,” Levi shivered out, dreadfully honest. "I don't—too soon." It wasn't too soon. He was sore and Erwin was ragged, but his stomach rolled with an off-kilter anxiety.

  
Erwin’s motions softened in an instant, his rough, playful attitude falling away. “Oh,” he breathed, “Oh, Levi. Okay.” He kissed his neck and stroked his cock gently, releasing Levi’s wrists. “Love, we can do it again. I promise.” He didn’t laugh at Levi. Maybe he understood what he meant. “Please let go, Levi.”

  
Levi could feel his orgasm building, all heat and winding tension, and he groaned, fighting it off. Not yet. He sobbed out another groan.

  
“There,” Erwin purred, gentle. He watched Levi with an expression that made Levi squirm. “There’s your voice. Come on Levi, let it out. It’s okay.”

  
Levi sobbed out another groan and thrust into Erwin’s fist, hand scrabbling at his shoulders.

  
“Good, Levi. That’s so good. Thrust again, love, let me feel you.” His own hips were faltering and his voice was tight, eyes slipping shut.

  
“ _Ah!_ ” Levi panted. He was going to scream. He didn't want to scream. His hips thrust erratically into Erwin’s fist. His ass was so sore, so full.

  
“ _Levi_ ,” Erwin begged. “I’m—please I can’t hold off much longer, love. I’m trying—” his voice hitched. "I'm trying so hard."

  
Levi was almost there. He bit hard into Erwin’s shoulder.

  
“No, Levi, babe, let me hear you. You sound so gorgeous. Levi, please let it out. Let go.  _Please_.”

  
Levi’s back arched sharp and he did scream when he came. And sob. And shake his way through breathless waves. He hiccuped, trying to stop the noises tearing out of his chest.

  
“Good, Levi. Scream. Oh, _fuck_.” He distantly heard Erwin groan out a deep, wounded sound and his hip stuttered in their rhythm, twitching in little jerks as Levi felt him come. Levi arched his back at the rush of warmth and another desperate wail clawed it’s way out of his throat because he felt so goddamn full of things that he didn’t know what else to do.

  
“Keep going, Levi,” Erwin encourage, dropping his damp forehead onto Levi’s shoulder, harsh breath hot on Levi’s skin. His hips still rocked gently and he squeezed a heavy hand up Levi’s sensitive cock, a few more dribbles of cum rolling over his fist. Levi cried out and twitched. Too sensitive. Erwin pressed up his softening erection again and Levi emitted a pained whine, gasping for air.

  
When Levi finally stopped wanting to scream and Erwin pulled out, looking a bit like he’d been to hell and back, Erwin settled him against the pillows.

  
“I need to shower,” Levi winced, throat raw.  He was sore and leaking and felt like he’d been crying for a year. He sighed at himself.

  
“I’ve got it,” Erwin said. Levi watched him pad out of the room, broad back and ass covered in scratches. He returned a short while later with a bowl full of hot water, a fluffy towel, and a few wash cloths. Proceeded to settle himself between Levi’s legs.

  
“I live here, now,” he announced, pressing a kiss to Levi’s thigh and placing the towel under his hips so he wouldn’t leak onto the covers any more. “I’m not done taking care of you, by the way,” he said at the look on Levi’s face. “I’m still helping. Turn off your brain. Please, I _want_ to do this.”

 

Levi still found it hard to look at him while he gently wiped Levi’s stomach clean, pausing to run his fingers across Levi’s scarred, bunching muscles. “Beautiful,” he said quietly, before carefully picking up Levi’s spent cock and sponging that clean as well with warm swipes, tenderly rolling back the foreskin to reach the sensitive skin underneath with the cooler part of the cloth. When Erwin finished there, he bent, pressing a soft kiss to the head, squeezing his foreskin back into place, and nuzzling it.

 

“I love your cock,” he said with such frankness that it startled a laugh out of Levi.

  
“I daresay the little bastard loves you back,” he snorted. He was sleepy now, languidly resting against the pillows. His eyes were drifting shut by the time Erwin finished with his balls, again stopping to nuzzle and kiss them with that absurd affection.

  
“Do you love my balls, too?” he mumbled, eyes still closed.

  
“Without a doubt.” Erwin pulled some of the elastic, paper-thin skin between his lips. Then he released the skin and rolled Levi’s balls between careful fingers. Fuck, it felt good. Levi groaned and stretched.

  
Wet warmth dragged across his ass, wiping away the sticky cum and laving at his sore rim. “Shit,” he sighed, throwing his arm over his eyes. Erwin laughed quietly, spreading his legs wider and gently sponging him clean. His breath coming in a huff against Levi’s sac was his only warning before Erwin’s tongue was sweeping over his twitching hole in broad strokes.

  
Ah!” Levi startled, yanking his arm off his eyes to squint down at Erwin, who seemed perfectly happy lapping at his ass with sleepy, lidded eyes. “What the fuck?”

  
Erwin paused, gazing up at Levi, resting his head on his thigh. “Levi,” he said, deep voice serious. “I love your asshole.”

  
Levi rolled his eyes and let his head drop back against the pillow so Erwin couldn’t see him fight off a grin. “Shut up.”

  
Erwin nosed his way back down to lick at Levi’s sore rim. It felt so fucking good. Erwin kept his tongue soft and his touch light. “It’s a good asshole,” he purred.

  
“Well, it’s not like there’s much competition.”

  
“That’s not true. There are a lot of assholes in the world.” Erwin’s voice was pulling tight. “You, for example.” He snorted softly against Levi’s thigh like he couldn’t hold back his laughter at his own joke.

  
Levi realized his lips had pulled into a grin, dangerously close to a full-blown smile. “You’re such a fucking dork.”

  
“At least I’m not an asshole.”

  
Levi pressed his lips together and rolled his eyes at himself before saying, “I dunno, Erwin. You know what they say.”

  
Erwin lifted his head with a lopsided grin pulling his lips wide. “What do they say?” His eyes were so bright.

  
“You are what you eat.”

  
Erwin dissolved into peels of rich laugher, shoulders shaking. “You really said it,” he wheezed. “You really fucking said it.” He dove up the bed and pounced on Levi, nuzzling his chest and neck and littering kisses across his face. Levi squirmed and shouted futilely, batting at Erwin’s face.

  
“Who’s a fucking dork now?” Erwin laughed between kisses.

  
“Shut up!” Levi barked, trying to avoid the kisses by craning his neck and dodging. “It’s contagious.”

  
Erwin took hold of his face between both hands and beamed down at him, blue eyes crinkled with the force of his grin. Levi stopped breathing for a moment.

  
“I love you,” Erwin said. Then he was ducking again and nuzzling Levi’s chest like an overgrown cat. “I love you.” He kissed his way down Levi’s stomach. Levi flushed, heat rising to his cheeks.

  
“Erwin,” he warned, but Erwin apparently didn’t give a shit.

  
He paused at Levi’s lower belly and looked up to catch Levi’s eye, point down at the tiny swell of fat over Levi’s muscles just under his navel. It was hardly noticeable, just the standard by-produce of nearing forty and late-night ice cream. Of time passing. “I love this,” Erwin declared, stroking a finger over the flesh. “I want to bite it.”

  
“Oh my god,” Levi groaned, blushing furiously and closing his eyes.

  
“No. Look,” Erwin commanded.

  
Levi shook his head. There was a tiny nip at the skin Erwin had been stroking and he jumped, eyes flying open instinctively.

  
“It’s perfect.”

  
Levi looked at Erwin, at his own body that was scarred in strange places and drooped just the slightest bit where it hadn’t six years ago. Levi realized he liked Erwin’s softness, had for a while, in fact. The muscles underneath were firm as ever, Erwin’s biceps still bunching impressively with every little gesture, but in the intimate places no one except Levi saw—the insides of his thighs, his navel, the rounded muscle where his ass met his legs—he was softer.

  
“Fine,” Levi said. The smile Erwin rewarded him with was heartbreakingly beautiful.

 

 

Erwin was like the goddamn sun, Levi thought as Erwin curled up behind him that night, two of them having finally dragged themselves to the kitchen to eat microwaved pizza stark-naked. Erwin radiated heat and stroked his thigh with tenderness that soothed his aches.

  
Levi oscillated between thinking the man was fully aware of his sway over people, and then again that he had no idea of the little solar system that followed him with blind affection, little constellations of people that couldn’t possibly forget him. Like the way the Jaeger kid had come flying out of the backroom and stared at Erwin like seeing him had made his whole fucking summer. Who looked at a teacher like that? Levi paused. He didn’t know as he hadn’t actually finished school. He mused for a moment and figured that, to be fair, if his teacher was Erwin fucking Smith, he probably would’ve stuck around and panted a hell of a lot worse than little Eren Jaeger. He cut the kid some slack and pressed back into Erwin’s chest.

  
Erwin’s heart beat steady as ever against his body. _One, two, three, four_ …each beat a moment gone. But Levi supposed each heartbeat was also a moment Erwin existed at the same time as him, and he’d walk through hell for that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
Erwin stayed awake until Levi’s breaths evened out, thumb rubbing gentle circles against Levi’s hip. He was exhausted, but he didn’t want to sleep. If he slept, the moment ended.

  
He buried his face in Levi’s hair, inhaling peppermint and sex. It made Erwin’s pelvis ache even as his penis cowered at the thought of another round. His head was still full of Levi’s moans and screams and the way he had draped himself limply over Erwin’s shoulder, seemingly unaware of the fact that he was crying while Erwin fucked up into him until Erwin was sobbing as well.

  
Erwin shivered and curled himself closer around Levi, pressing his lips to his hair. For all the Levi guarded himself, he was the most painfully alive person Erwin had ever met, and Erwin thought he’d give anything to watch Levi tilt his head back, hair slick to his skull, water rolling across his fluttering throat as he cried out, for once not giving a fuck that Erwin could see his heart.

 

 


End file.
